new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
