I don't remember. Are we still dating?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize