I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
