i barfeds in our rink
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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