Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
