I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
