Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
