If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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