Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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