Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
