why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
