i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
