he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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