If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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