I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
