i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
