everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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