The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
