No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
