lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
