Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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