if you like me you must not know who I am
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
