I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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