it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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