3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
