You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
