if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
