my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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