meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
