i think my tv is drunk
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
