Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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