I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
