Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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