Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
