dude i'm inner monologue high
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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