I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
