Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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