Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
