I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
