she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so let's talk penis.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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