I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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