Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
