I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He has the fingertips of a God
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