Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
