How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
