This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize