Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize