Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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