He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
