Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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