Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
