Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
