I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
