Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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