Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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