i don't like sucking hair
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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