He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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