On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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