do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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