Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize