conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
