I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I will pee on everything he values.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
