i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We left an ass print on the piano.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize